Potato Turnip Cakes

I am still flailing with the glory of it all, simply flailing. Do you have any idea what I did today, what joyous music and ethereal light broke forth from the heavens over the wondrous discovery I made within the four linoleumed walls of my little kitchen?

People, I shredded potatoes. With my food processor. For. The. Very. First. Time.

Take it in. Breathe deeply. Raise your arms and praise the heavens along with me. I know you want to. Do you feel a little victory jig coming on? Let it happen. I know I did. And if you start squealing, or maybe even hopping, well, you're in good company.

I don't know why this always seemed like such an impossibility. Oh sure, other people could shred cabbage and carrots in their food processor, but me, I just had to julienne the cabbage into tiny ruffly lines by hand until my fingers bled, because their machine was a fancy one that they registered for when they got married, or maybe because they were real food professionals, and me, well, I never even went to cooking school, or, or, I know!, it's because their parents taught them how to ski when they were little, and listened to rock music on the radio and let them eat chocolate every once in a while, that's it, I'm sure of it, I know. Knowing how to shred things with a food processor is, like, a genetic gift.

I can be so stupid. After all, when Ben's mother gave me her Robot Coupe two years ago, along with a set of extra grating and shredding inserts, I had such high hopes ("carrot salad!" dream on, girlie). And then I promptly put them into hiding in my cupboards and made sure they didn't see the light of day since. Oh sure, I made many a pie crust in that thing, and bread and hummus and pesto and meatloaf. But did I even grate a single potato? Nope, non, nein.

Tonight, home before nine for the first time in a week, and on a whim (I had turnips in my CSA delivery, and potatoes, and a recipe on the CSA handout from Martha Stewart for turnip-flecked potato latkes), I finally dug out one of those little metal inserts - so utterly unconvincing and yet also intimidating. Fully convinced it wouldn't even fit, I banged it around on the food processor and then, lo! It snapped into place. Still operating dully in disbelief, and with the motor on, I quartered a russet potato, and slowly dropped it in the feed tube.

That, my friends, is when the heavens opened with the voices of angels. Shredded potatoes! In my kitchen! Look!

Oh, the possibilities. I know, I know - admitting this discovery is probably like when I told you all that I had never really realized the location of my broiler: hu-mi-li-aaaaay-ting. Whatever. I'm over it. The victory jig ensued. There was squealing. And hopping. And more squealing (maybe even yelling). My food processor shreds things! It's a bloody miracle.

Oh, and the latkes? Eh. They were fine - a little sharp from the grated turnip, nicely crispy on the outside, and still soft on the inside. I added an egg to bind them, and kind of wished I could concentrate on something other than the miracle of grated vegetables to figure out what herb to liven these up with (Ben, later, had the genius idea of smearing them with a bit of apple butter, in lieu of apple sauce). If I'm totally honest, I'm not much of a potato pancake kind of girl.

But let's think about this for a second. Who really cares?

My food processor knows how to shred!

Comments

[Sanja]

I do not even have food processor. I only have hand blender. Maybe I have to get married to get some useful presents like food processor?!

[Dana]

Isn't the food processor the best invention ever?!? If I was moving and was told I could take only one appliance with me, it would be my Cuisinart. It purees, it shreds, it slices -- it's genius! Can't wait to see what other recipes result from your discovery!

[Lydia]

How did people make cole slaw before food processors??? A whole world of wonderful things will open up for you now!

[anne]

Mine scares me and me fear has paralyzed me - it too sits in a box in the pantry. The sad part is my mother made potatoe latkes that way - the image just above of your potaotes sliced up is actually a childhood image. So I shouldn't have this fear! Much congratulations on your success - perhaps this holiday season I'll follow your lead.

[Elizabeth]

I continue to be in love with my Mouli julienne, a 'classic' hand crank device with three disks that grate, slice and shred. I bought mine over a decade ago, but Moulinex still sells them in France and probably elsewhere. Nothing scary or loud about a hand crank device and the kids like grating the potatoes when it's time to make latkes.

[sherry]

I agree that the Cuisinart is terrific, with all its attachments. But for potato latkes, I think that it's best not to use the shredder attachment, just the regular one. Pulse it until the potatos are like coarse oatmeal; and if you add onion, they won't discolor, as you're doing batches. Much better texture for latkes! And much more like the hand grated ones!

[Lisa (Homesick Texan)]

Now I know what I want for Christmas. Using a box grater to make carrot and raisin salad is teeeeeee-dious.

[ann]

HI-larious and the exact opposite of me! the only thing I can make my cuisinart do is shred stuff! My mom bought it for me so that I could make my great-great-grandmother's cranberry dressing for Thanksgiving every year, and thus, that's the only trick I've ever taught it. Sure, it knows how to puree stuff, but I've never explored it as an alternative to kneading or other such things.
Maybe this is the inspiration I need!
btw -- I'm not a latkes person either. They're lost on me.

[EB of Spice Dish]

I feel the flailing!!! I too experienced this last Channuka when the thought of making 100+ fresh latkes by hand made me want to cry. I busted out my dinky little food processor and thought... we'll they won't be as good as hand done... but I've got to give it a shot... 30 potatoes later... I was jumping up and down and clapping my hands!! The bliss-- the pure bliss of it all.

[CM]

Hi - I am a lurker but have been enjoying your blog for a while. I feel the same way! I am unreasonably convinced that my food processor attachments cannot possibly work and will be much too difficult for me to use. You have inspired me. I will try shredding something too.

[Hillary]

Shredding potatoes is a whole lot of fun!! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I do this every year when I make potato latkes for Hannukah. These look great!

[mary]

So awesome to see you having fun. Unfortunately for me, my food processor lost its attachments about two moves ago. I should really do something about this because I love the carrot salad and only the food processor makes it like I like it.

[Ellen]

Congratulations! But...you know...I have a similar issue. Recently I grated carrots for the first time, sort of suspicious as to whether it would work--and it didn't really. I wanted them for a salad, but they turned into pulp. (Not quite, but it wasn't very attractive.) Maybe I should try again...

[gemma]

maybe you can show me how to use mine.... i love my cuisinart but have definitely never even considered those funny looking attachments. i think it even came with a dvd explaining them but that is still wrapped up...and seriously who has time to watch something like that?

[Shauna]

Yum. Annnnd yum. And as far as the food processor usage goes, well played, indeed! I am in desperate need of a mother-in-law who will give me such things.

[Luisa]

Sanja - well, I'm not married...maybe that's why I have no Kitchenaid? :)

Dana - I do love my food processor, it's true. My immersion blender is pretty nifty, too, the fp mostly just rules.

Lydia - you might have noticed that I Never Make Slaw. It's a minor tragedy. No more!

Anne - no more fear! If I can do it, you can, too - I know it. Courage!

Elizabeth - love those Mouli things, the cheese grater handcranks still feature largely in my memories of home (pffft, Microplane...)

Sherry - I'd be afraid my potatoes would just turn to mush!

Lisa - oh yes, indeed - in fact, I can't imagine doing it at all. You must really love the stuff :)

Ann - wait, you never used your Cuisinart to make pie dough??? That's practically the best thing to have it for! You never have to touch the dough, so it's all flaky and crispy and wonderful after baking.

EB - hooray! So glad I'm not alone in my glee.

CM - So glad you came out of lurkdom! Isn't it funny how we get all freaked out about the randomest things? Okay, get yourself into the kitchen and shred something! Anything!

Hillary - Next up, cabbage.

Mary - darn moves and their strange ways of swallowing beloved things. Can you try ebay?

Ellen - hmm. I wonder how that happened. Could you use them for carrot cake?

Gemma - You mean, between work and school and Charlotte, you haven't been able to manage your time enough to watch the oh-so-essential DVDs that come with your kitchen equipment? Gems, priorities!! :) But oooh, yes, I will be happy to check it out. I think the newer Cuisinarts are much easier to use too.

Shauna - Ben's mom is lovely and generous, for sure. Have you checked ebay? Always some treasures lurking around there...

[Mercedes]

I must not have the genetic programming either, because despite owning several devices that could shred potatoes in minutes, I still grate my knuckles on the darn box grater everytime. Thank you for pointing out my silliness.
Potato pancakes, in my opinion, are just vehicles for applesauce, sour cream, lox, or caviar.